Bye Bye Blackbird

I just recently came back from a much needed, much deserved vacation. And while I was there I went to the movie theater three times. I just can't get away from movies!


The last one I saw was Public Enemies

Let me just say one thing. Johnny Depp has got to be the most charasmatic man on the planet. He could kill a basket full of babies and I'd still be on his team. I went through my Johnny Depp phase a few years ago, and until recently I didn't really think he was "all that and a bag of beer.." I don't know what I was thinking, besides Brad Pitt and my boyfriend, he's IT.





There were a few things about the movie I didn't really like, and a few I loved.

Dislikes:

• This movie is like 3 hours long. It's like Curious Case of Benjamin Button long.
• The previews made it seem like Marion Cotillard was going to be in it a lot. She wasn't. I loved her and wanted more of her.
• Christian Bale, yuck! I can't stand that damned man.
• The movie was more about JohnDillinger being chased and captured, I thought it was going to be about him robbing banks and killing tons of people and spending his money on faboosh things, living the lavish lifestyle. Little letdown

Loves:

• To my surprise there were a shit ton of cameos. Love those!
• The acting was superb
• The love story was just.. just lovely!! Dillinger totally just swept Frechette off her feet, somebody sweep ME off my feet!!
• Marion Cotillard

I am not mapquest

Today an elder gentleman (when I say elderly I mean a super old fart) comes in and asks me something. I can't hear a god damn fucking thing he says so I have to ask him multiple times to repeat himself.

Turns out he needs directions to Terwillager bridge (and since there is no bridge I'm assuming he meant Blvd.) There's a line of customers but being the outstanding citizen I AM I go to google and googlemap his destination. Which turns out is actually the OHSU hospital.. and he doesn't even know the actual address..


(I just want to get one thing perfectly clear, I work in a VIDEO STORE)


So I type in OHSU hospital, about 20 different addresses pop up.. I just choose the first one..

I print out the directions, then I also print out a map of the streets (trying to make this quest as easy as possible for this geezer.)

He mumbles a thanks and then leaves.

YOU'RE WELCOME!!!

I hope I sent him to the right place.. and if I didn't.. well.. it's not my fucking job to print out maps for customers anyway, let alone NONcustomers.




A good deed never goes unpunished



Geriatrics these days



xoxo

Big Cheese

I did it.

I actually friggin did it!

The straw boss here at Videorama now knows I have a blog,.. and he read half of the entries! I'm not sure how impressed he was because I've noticed the more I post on here the more annoying and unfunny I am.. and he started reading from the end rather than the beginning.. sooo..

I told him about it once, right when I started writing in here, and I don't think he really heard me or understood what I was talking about so I just let it slide. To be completely honest I was a wee bit afraid that he'd get mad because it's mainly me trash talking the customers and confessing that I don't do shit here. Well.. what I mean is.. I don't always go above and beyond my duties.. so I was like.. fired? But he found it rather amusing and I guess he has a Videorama blog as well but rarely finds the time to write in it.

I'm wondering if he's going to continue reading this.. do I have to be careful of what I write now?! No bashing on him! Ohhh, just jesting! I love my manager to bits and pieces. We tell each other things we wouldn't normally tell our closest friends.. So he can suck it for all I care :]

Hi Chris




xoxo

Fading Magic Tricks

I'm not particularly good at anything,.. I don't have any special talents..

BUT! I do have a MAGIC skill!

I work at a video store for one reason and one reason only. No it's not because I love conversing with old ladies that carry umbrellas in the sunshine or because the vast majority of my customers are undeservably wealthy.. it's because I have the ability to know the title of a movie someone is looking for with only 2 words to go off of. Dicaprio, elevator.. The Departed! Douglas, author.. Wonder Boys! Sayanara, oldtimer.. Con Air! Now, I don't like to brag (mostly because I never have anything to brag about) BUT, this is a mighty fine gift I've been blessed with and working in a videostore I am able to use it to its fullest extent. I'm useful to have around!

This is also why I fear I'll be stuck in this damn store for the rest of my rotten life. I need another hobby besides constantly watching movies. And they're not always good movies, some of them are the ones that are so bad they drain the life out of you and make you feel hopeless. Please don't ask me why I expose myself to these.

Getting back to my point, (which at this time I'm not sure I had one to begin with..) I need a life/job. Self pity at its lowest. Since I'm not interested in anything other than movies, and my magic skill has been overshadowed by google and imdb, it's clear I need a new job in the field of.. (drumroll please..) ..the big and glorious word.. ENTERTAINMENT!


If you hear R Kelly needs a leading lady in one of his next videos, you best contact me asap.





*This entry was more a mix of rambling, pity and a little hidden xanax. When a post starts out with "I'm not good at anything" you know it's going to be bonkers.. to say the least. (Do people still say bonkers? If not I'm bringing it back..)



I feel a personal memoir coming




xoxo

Miranda and the City

I feel like I haven't written on here in quite a while.. but in all actuality it hasn't been that long. I guess I just miss my blog, oh sweet irony. I remember the days I used to promise myself I'd never have a blog and call people who had them "hipsters trying to recruit."

Anyway.. I've been meaning to write another movie review, but lately I've been watching t.v. shows! I'm almost finished with Undeclared (Judd Apatow's college version of Freaks & Geeks) and just recently started watching Sex and the City. My new roommate is absolutely obsessed with SATC, she has the whole series and watches it religiously and so I decided to see what all her craze was about.

OMG. It's sooo good, now I know what she's been talking about all these years! You can hate the show all you want, hate me for loving it, I don't care! The truth is Sex and the City is effing amazing. It makes me want to date a million different guys at once, it makes me want to move to New York City, it makes me want to be a journalist and have my own column, it makes me want to go to a dance club.. all right, maybe not the last one. But it definately brings out the girlie girl in me.. I didn't even think I had a girlie girl side! I want to be tre chic! I'm still torn between Carrie and Samantha.. I think I used to be a Samantha but over the course of the year I've drastically changed into a Carrie (thanks in large part to my amazing boyfriend aka Big!)

It kind of reminds me of a tv version of the movie The Sweetest Thing, and that movie is the best chick flick of all time.. it's a chick flick even guys can appreciate. A must see on my list!

I'm on the 3rd and last disk of Undeclared.. so far it's good.. I mean, it doesn't even come close to being as good as Freaks and Geeks.. but it's still worth watching. I never really got the closure I felt I needed from the last episode of F&G so I started watching this in hopes that it would kind of be the next best thing.. it's not. The new actors/characters are overshadowed by Seth Rogen, Jason Segal, Busy Phillips.. all the oldies.. I think I'm still just mad about the best show of all time going off air, so I'm taking it out on this show.. also I'm watching it at the same time as Sex and the City so I'm not able to give it my full attention..






xoxo

A grave discomfort of mine

OH MY GOD.

Now I shall write about how friggin boring this place gets sometimes; like now for example. When the sun comes out this videostore is as slow as slow as a wet weekend. I loathe boredom. But on the brightside (not my brightside) when at work and bored.. I actually work! That is unless I'm blogging about how bored I am.. err..

Yesterday for instance, I swept.. aaaand MOPPED!!! I went way out of my way on this one. In the one year and two months that I've worked here I don't think the area behind the counter has been mopped at all. I did sweep it about nine months ago though.. needless to say, it's disgusting. There are soo many dustbunnies (that's supposed to be the cute and cool word to use for gross balls of hair and dust right?)

Here is a picture

..sorry it's Sideways

And all the reason why all the dust is shaped in a square is because we have those all Holy mats that restaurants and random places have.

As of today I have not done anything productive besides put some movies away.. I'm gonna say that the whole process of me actually mopping yesterday clears me of all todays duties

xoxo

I shall kill thee..

This one particular "bete noire" of mine happens on a daily basis at work. I'd guestimate at least 15 times a day (kill me now.)

When people come up to rent a movie I ask for their last name first so I can find their account.. WELL, quite a few customers are obviously impatient because before I can say anything they just blurt out their last name. Now, I'm not sure if they're trying to be helpful or not, but when they do this I want to throw dog shit in their mouth. I clearly did not ask for their last name and yet they say it anyway.. and most of the time I'm busy doing something (the reason for me not asking in the first place.) I'll be no where near the counter and they'll put their movies on the counter and say "McDonald!" Well, all right Mr. Big Mac with Fries I'm not quite ready to ring you up yet so can you please wait a god damn fucking minute?!?!? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! Please don't do this unless you wanna end up like Alison Lohman in Drag Me To Hell. I WILL curse you!

Aaaaaand another thing..



We have a "For Sale" shelf here, extremely cheap movies so there are always tons of people hoarding around the area. This oooone particular customer comes every Sunday and all I can say is WHAT THE FUCK? When he leaves the shelf looks like a grenade went off over there. I'm thinking he does this on purpose, because even the homeless druggies that come in don't even make that big of a mess. Below is an actual photo of the chaos he leaves

I'll never understand

xoxo