Videorama's Finest

Either I'm the best prank puller ever or I just think I'm the funniest person alive.

Earlier today my manager was on the phone with a customer and I walked by the computer. I immediately noticed he had been right in the middle of writing an email when he stopped to answer the phone. I didn't even bother to check to see who the email was to, I just wrote the first thing that came to mind. (Cocksucking is my life.) I pressed 'Enter' about 30 times so it would be hidden at the very bottom of the email. His back was turned at the time so he hadn't noticed a thing and I tried my hardest not to laugh. (I'm really funny and just THINK hilarious things so I tend to laugh at myself all the time.)

He Hung up the phone. The time had come, would he notice what I wrote? Would I get away with this brilliant prank? Well kids, the answer to that is YES, yes I did get away with it.

He came over to the computer, wrote one last sentence, scanned over the ENTIRE thing and hit SEND. I didn't know what to think, surely he had seen what I wrote! (No, he didn't) Fifteen seconds after he sent it I asked "Did you really just send that?!" and fell down (literally) laughing. "WHAT DID YOU DOOOO?!" (The look on his face was priceless.) He went back to the sent email and then saw what I had written. We both laughed until we cried. Then he informed me who the email was to; an old gay guy who has had the hots for my manager for over 2 years. HOW PERFECT IS THAT!!! The ONE email I choose to defile and it's to a guy who wants to put his peen in my manager's booty. He quickly wrote him another email saying "Sadly, while cocksucking is not my life, it does happen to be my coworkers (who was the one to write that.) Miranda has now been fired. Sorry to get your hopes up."

We continued to laugh for a good 10 minutes after the whole incident. Clever is me.

xoxo

Say Hello To My Heavy Friend

I went to California, had a splendid time, bought fabulous things and now I'm back to this crap hole of a town. Somebody save me.

When I came back to Portland I had that "I don't belong here" feeling, the same exact feeling I knew I would have when I got off the plane, and yet, I've decided to NOT move to California. Looks like I'll be keeping my blog (sorry phantom annoyed comment maker)

I DID buy an extremely rad typewriter that I'll be using to write my masterpiece on.. so maybe I'll be doing more of that than this. Just maybe.

Here she is. And for only $25. What a find.


It's really hard to type on though, so the amazing novel that I plan on writing might take me a while. So far I have the title. (Which may actually be the only brilliant part of the book)

(Anyone else notice the direction my blog is taking?)

xoxo

Carnivale

It was a mad house in here this morning! In the 2 years that I have worked here there has never been a line of customers waiting for me when I come to open up shop. Today that all changed.

I walked by the store (Videorama) on my way to Safeway to purchase my daily Rockstar and I noticed 2 women standing at the door. I chuckled to myself because of how disappointed they looked that we weren't open yet.. and then thought "what LOSERS." As I slowly walk the two measly blocks back to open up the store I see more people standing infront of the entrance. Se7en to be exact. I open the door, turn on the lights and start cleaning up the Gigantic mess behind the counter (Brian closed last night. Amongst the multiple spilled energy drinks and random pieces of gummy candy all over the floor, I notice that there are movies he decided to not put away. Thanks friend.) Five minutes go by and all of the lost looking customers are still standing in an unorganized line on the sidewalk. SO annoyed at this point. I go outside and ask "Why are you all standing out here? I opened five minutes ago. You guys look weird."

Big mistake. Big BIG mistake. I hadn't realized that I had yet to put all the new releases on the wall so every single one of those customers that I dread on a regular basis came rushing up to the counter freaking out.

"Omg is Mad Men season 3 all out?!" "Blind Side? BLIND SIIIIIDE!!!!"

To make matters worse, another wave of customers come gliding through the entryway just as I'm getting my bearings together. (Come one, come all) Unbelievable! You all really had nothing better to do at NOON on a Tuesday? Not only was I having to run all over the place, trying to locate all the scattered movies that came out for rent today, but my hay fever was acting up. Inbetween my sneezing spell, runny nose, dry cough and puffy eyes I was having to ask customers for their last name and whether they wanted the movie over night or for the full five days. Not my favourite way to spend my afternoon. Not in the least.

Ah, but I digress, I really do. Tomorrow I leave for Californiaaa (here I cooome) and I couldn't be happier.

xoxo