Conditioner

I am completely shocked I've never blogged about this.
Here we go..

Back in the day I wrote about THIS guy. (Oh, and Here too!) What a naive little child I was. "Oh, I believe in the good in people!" WRONG! I DID end up going to get a haircut from this man, and I ended up going back muuultiple times, not because he was so good (he really wasn't) but because he gave me a discount. (By discount I mean the $75 hairchop was FREE) "Oh, he just knows I'm broke and still want to be able to look fabulous so he's just being nice and doing me a favor!" A "favor" which I suffered greatly for might I add.

It started out innocent. He'd cut my hair,.. and I would usually schedule it for my day off, so afterward we would go get a beer around the corner or a quick bite to eat.. in MY mind it was NOT a date, just a friendly chit chat over food. He was nice and I enjoyed his company (for the most part, and only at first.) This was how every haircut went for the next couple of months. He even introduced me to all the girls at the saloooon and we'd have lunch with them as well so it never really got too creepy. But after a while he would start saying "god, isn't she beautiful?" "she looks like a movie star" WHAT THE FUCK. GROSS. That's when I started feeling uncomfortable. Like, really, who says those things, especially when the person they're talking about is saying "STOP."

He never really stopped talking about my looks to other people, while I was RIGHT THERE, but I let it slide (it was worth the free haircuts! DOI!) But after awhile he started coming into my work.. at night.. ok, whatever.. he's a lonely old man.. I can pretend to be nice.. but he got a little tooo comfortable and started coming in completely HAMMERED. I mean, the works. Drooling, slurring, wobbling all over the place. Extremely off putting. So I stopped getting lunch with him after the haircuts.. get in, get out. To be fair, I told him how I felt. "Yo, you're gross when you're drunk. Don't come into my work like that. Actually, don't even come near me if you've had more than 3 sips of a beer (major lightweight.)" That would just make him mad and he would just end up calling and texting me like an insane/jealous ex boyfriend until I would answer and we would 'work things out.' I know what you're thinking: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PUT UP WITH THIS FOOL?! My only excuse is that I like pretty hair. I fail in some "Life departments" (mainly 'boyfriends' [one in particular] and 'accepting free things') I've almost learned my lesson.

Then, get this, I ended up moving into the same fucking apartment building that he lived in. The odds right? I think this gave him the feeling that I actually WANTED to live near him, so he would start showing up at my apartment. As if that isn't bad enough, he would come over unannounced. And it's not like I could just ignore him! I live in a 300 square foot studio with walls as thing as rice paper. He would KNOW. I would tell him to chill and not pop over, but he would anyway. My cat even hated this dude, he started pissing everywhere. Ohh helll nahhhh!

Ok, here's the good and unbeliiiievable part. One night he came into my work and gave me a Xanax bar. (Why helloooooo!) It was then I realized that he was shit faced. Weird. He then proceeded to confess his love for me. I know. I KNOW. He said that if he was 20 years younger I would be his, HA! Not likely you fat piece of shit. I told him to leave and get a life because he just reached a new level of disgusting. Three days later he comes to my apartment. It's midnight and my guy friend and I are shotgunning beers before we go out for the night. I have to answer because I'm obviously there. I open the door and he's missing a shoe, his eyes are crossed and he's holding a grape soda, which contents are spilled down the front of his white shirt.

Him: "I just killed 3 people"
Me: "Awesome, who'd you murder?"
Him: "3 people that owed my friends money"
Me: "Cool, well.. have a good night"
Him: "Can't I come in?"
Me: "No, I'm about to leave and I have a friend here. BYE"

That seriously happened. Only in MY life. He came back 15 minutes later and knocked on my door for about 5 minutes. My friend and I just turned the lights off and hid in the closet until he went away. Convinced that we were to be his next victims, we were extremely hesitant to leave my apartment, but we did (all for the love of Tubesday.) The next night he comes into my work, sober this time! I'm shocked. He tries to have a conversation with me. Not happening. I told him what happened, which he denies. But there's no denying the truth kids. Sebastian as my witness. It was then that I finally got up the courage to tell him that I never wanted to see or speak to him again. Being his friend was just too much and getting wildly inappropriate. Wild I'm up for. Inappropriate I'm known for. But not together. He starts crying! (CRYING!! In my work!!) The only thing I can remember crying about in the past couple months is Carrie and Aidan breaking up, and I make sure to do that shit in the comfort of my own bed. This creep then tries telling me about how his mother didn't/doesn't love him and that he is gonna go get some help. Good for you, but I still don't want to ever see your pock marked face again.

And I didn't see or hear from him for about a month but one night a few weeks ago he came in and rented a movie. Then a few times I've seen him staring at me through the window at my work. I've always wanted a stalker, but this is just not as fun as I thought it would be.

I never found out if he really did kill anyone. I wouldn't be surprised if he was telling the truth though.

xoxo