Customer(s) of the Day

In writing this I hope this person/these people never reads this.

There are just plain awful customers, and then there are preferred customers. No, there's no in between. The customers that I like, almost, just almost make up for the dimwits in this "up scale" neighborhood. I preferably enjoy the customers that bring me things :] Hey, I don't ask! I never ask, I'm always offered.. and usually the customers are male.. with the exception of one customer that brought me sprite when I was sick, but she's a lesbian so I'm not sure that even counts.

Thinking of my favorite buyer of goods, one person comes to mind right off the bat. We shall call him.. Bill Harmon? The other night he brought me flowers, a cupcake and a bottle of wine. I don't believe he was hitting on me, he just felt sorry for me.. thought I needed a little surprise.. (You see, I was recently the victim of a break up,.. make sense now?) ..Flowers because every girl loves to receive them, a cupcake because in times of crisis women always look to sugar for comfort, but in MY case, alcohol.. which brings me to the wine! (If there's one thing you need to know about me, it's that I drink like a fish. I've been called a functioning alcoholic a time or twelve.) Anway, this customer rocks, he totally made me feel better. Strangers care about your personal life? APPARENTLY! I even made an appointment with him for a hair chop. He said he'd make me purdy for all those other fish in the sea.. whom I don't really even plan on dating.

HE'S the good customer for the day.. one of the worst "customers" JUST came in, so I have to write about him now. His name shall be.. Wayne Laughlin (there ARE reasons for these names) I'm not sure if you can even call this guy a customer, he rents a movie like once every few months, but he DOES come in every single day. You wanna know what for!? Dog treats! Ok, yes we have a box full of Milk-Bones for the dogs that come in, but all he does is open the door, say hi and grab a handful of treats for his dog and then leaves. SOOO ANNOYING. And I think he owns an ice cream shop, so pretty much it's just like me walking into his store, going behind the counter and grabbing handfuls of ice cream and then just leaving.

This is our conversation from the other day:
Wayne- Did you like Slumdog Millionaire?
Me- Yes, I did actually. The train sequence was awesome.
Wayne- Really? I'm surprised, because I like good movies and based off of your recommendations you seem to like the bad ones. Anyway, bye!
Me- Die

I'm going to start hiding the treats



xoxo