Jagged Little Pill

I'd just like to make one thing perfectly clear. (Incase I die tonight and people read my previous posts and think me naive)

I may write about taking large quantities of opiates but I am in no way promoting drug consumption. In the words of another blogger, I'm "contemptible." Humphh.

Update*
It is now March 3rd and I've only smoked weed since this post. And for purely medical reasons. Insomnia is considered 'medical' right? I is good girl.

Goddamnit! Goddamnit.

One word: Retail therapy. By golly, I'd sure like to know how I'm going to be able to pay my phone bill.

Working at Videorama is literally COSTING me money. There's a lot of downtime in this shop, at first I spent my time working. That didn't go well. Then I started reading but recently stopped because I can't seem to be able to focus on anything. (Besides my addiction to prescriptions which aren't prescribed to me and all the men I can't seem to keep) THEN! I came across online shopping. Which is what I now do. ALL DAY. I spend more money at work than I actually 'earn.'

Today I bought a shirt with Andy Kaufman's big bloody face on it.

BUT, this isn't a fashion blog so I won't continue on with my 'recently purchased' list.

AND, this isn't a 'feelings' blog so I won't tell you how lame some guys are. Even more so their girlfriends. (THEY WERE ON A BREAK)

God, definately off track. If you can believe it, I originally started this post because I was trying to peruse various shopping websites and all the goddamned customers kept interrupting me. And then I got mad. Hence.

Oh, and this message is for Brian, my thief of a coworker... (You stole my Rockstar last night you big boob!)

P.S. Last night I attempted to watch Immortal Beloved. Big fat NO to that one. Then, Bronson, NO. I passed out watching National Treasure 2 and thinking pleasant thoughts about drugs and how I would have liked to be on some.

On a completely different issue.. I can't tell if I'm a product of my environment. I BUY music so I'm gonna say no.



xoxo

Sheer Ingenuity

I was talking to a customer today, about the only person who knows that this blog exists, and he gave me an idea. Instead of writing about one irritating thing in a world of millions, write about a whole bunch of things about one subject.

Examples:

Vid-iots: I'm drowing in assholes
Vid-iots: I think I dated you but I might have been blacked out
Vid-iots: Learning to barter
Vid-iots: Learning to spot a stalker 101
Vid-iots: I'm high, how are you?

In short,.. short stories.

When writing these posts and I talk about someone I'm generally talking about multiple people at once as to not make the main person I'm talking about too obvious.

FUCK that shit. Fellas, you better watch out. Your ass is no longer safe. I will write about who I want, when I want. And although I may create a fake name for you, you can bet your ass they will both fucking rhyhme.

I can feel the 'defamation of character' lawsuits rolling in.

I can't wait to write the "I think I dated you but I might have been blacked out"


Know what happens next?

Idiocracy

Proof that all hope is lost. My day has been ruined. So early in the afternoon too.. what a shame.

And this is only the second customer of the day.

#2: I'm looking for a new release
Me: Go on..
#2: I don't remember what it is
Me: .......
#2: Well, it's a newer release..
Me: Ok, but to help you I'm gonna need to know a little more than that
#2: I don't remember
Me: Well.

..then I walk away and make myself look busy. Actually, I walk away, go to the computer and go to blogger. Now I'm here. REALLY?!

J-J-J-J-Jaded.

xoxo

Stalker Status

Normally I'd find this flattering.

A few weeks ago a customer came in (one of my favourites..)

Her: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No (insert frowning emoticon here)
Her: Well, do you know someone named *Rob?
Me: Yes, well a customer named Rob..
Her: Well, there's some guy named Rob going around saying that you're his girlfriend.. and he's old so I just knew it couldn't be true.. but I wanted to come in and ask you anyway..
Me: What the what?! It couldn't be the same person I'm thinking of.. does he have all gray hair?
Her: Yes!
..this is the part in the conversation where a shiver falls upon me..
Me: Well go do some investigating and find out for sure!
Her: OK, I got your back girlfriend!

I tell my manager and he's creeped out just as much, if not more than I am. After a while I forget about it.. I even see the guy a few times after she told me this bit of information and he never once acted all romantical toward me.

THEN!!!!!

The customer comes back, her name is Allison by the way, and she tells me that it is for sure the same person I was thinking about. She goes into detail about what he's been saying (I'll spare you the details) She has me convinced.

Let me make this clear. A CUSTOMER HAS BEEN GOING AROUND TELLING PEOPLE THAT I AM HIS GIRLFRIEND. He is also almost as old as my GRANDMOTHER.

I'm freaked out to say the least. Do I confront this person? If I do are they going to go all Fatal Attraction on me? I kind of get the feeling he's more Robin Williams One Hour Photo type of creepy stalker.

I seriously would not be surprised if this man kills me in my sleep. I'm going to wake up one night, feel a presence in the room, hear some nasally breathing and then BLAM! A knife, right to the carotid artery. I only ask he violates my body after I've Perished from complete loss of blood.








xoxo

Whatever You Sayyy Master

I make it a personal goal to make sure no customer at Videorama ever feels special.

Especially because most everyone wants to feel special. They want to think that they're a valued customer. No. Not happening. Not by ME anyway. Sorry to say, I let other people ruin 'it' for others.

I just don't understand people these days. CONSTANTLY asking questions. And they're always questions that you can answer yourself. "Where's The Sound of Music?" FUCKIN MUSICALS! Where the fuck else do you think it would be?! When I go into a store and I have to ask an employee a question I am COMPLETELY mortified.

Fridays are the absolute worst. They're the busiest nights of the week and of course I work them. Alone. The phone is ringing off the hook (I absolutely HATE talking on the phone. Doesn't matter if they're strangers or not. HATE. TALKING. ON. PHONE. My grandmas learned to text because of this reason) People keep asking if there's this movie or that movie (tonight the popular title has been The Hurt Locker, up yours Oscar announcements) and OF course all the crazies, dumb dumbs and philanderers alike are lurking about. Videorama seems a popular establishment for these kind.

Brain dead customers are almost always the sole cause of my endless ranting. And I do apologize. To think, I at one time thought of myself as a people person. When mama's had her opiates I suppose she is.


xoxo

*This is my 69th post by the way