EPIC

Imagine this woman: 50s, Brooklyn accent, tan, short frizzy dark brown hair, petite..

Now imagine having this conversation with her..

Her: Hey hun! My ex called me up this morning! He was all threatening me and shit
Me: Oh goodness, what did he say?!
Her: That he was gonna fuckin knife me and shit. I said bring it on! I got a baseball bat waiting for ya. He's black ya know..
Me: Christ! I hope you don't get knifed
Her: Are you kidding me! I'm from Brooklyn, I lived on the streets for 3 years. I used to keep a razor blade on me at all times.. in between my teeth! I cut some broads up before too! Sliced 'em good.
Me: Shiiiiit
Her: Yeah, well I got a baseball bat ya know.. I'm just gonna stop fuckin thinking about it. I don't wanna get too upset. Fuckin blacks man! I got no sympathy for 'em! Drugs and theft and shit. Especially my ex.. he's from the ghetto.
Me: Whoa
Her: Yeah yeah, well I gotta go hun. Put a sweater on
Me: Don't get cut up!
Her: I'll show 'em who's boss
Me: You go girlfriend

All this coming from a woman who at one point in time offered me oxy and vicodin.

She rules sooo fuckin hard.


xoxo