You know those 'old man' crushes.. which may or may not (in my case) be synonymous with the 'daddy issues' crushes..? Yes well, I'm all too familiar with them. I'm immediately attracted to 40 year old men. As far as I'm concerned, they could be my cousin, I don't care whatsoever. Older men just do it for me. Beards, Mmmm. It goes without saying that I'm in love with about a 3rd of our customer base here at the old Videorama. At least. And you'll be damned sure that they are all at least 29. There's this ONE special customer though.. let's call him.. Hadley Forrester. (Is Hadley even a real name or did I just make that up?) We have lengthy conversations about 'adult' things (mainly my personal life) and we flirt. Except when he comes in with his girlfriend. Then, in that case, we flirt more. It's to be expected. I never liked his girlfriend, she's always extremely up tight, asks about my tattoos incessantly,.. and is old. (I'll tell you something she's not.. cute.) Except one time they came in and she was haaaaaammered. Then I liked her. But for that night only. I think she tried to hook me up with her son? (I know someone I'd like to hook up with, and his name starts with YOUR BOYFRIEND.)
Anyway.., Bradley, I mean Hadley, comes in and I make him rent Fantastic Mr. Fox, he's checking out the package so I do a hair flip and wink to give him the full experience. (I could teach Elle Woods a thing or two.) Then I ask about his girlfriend.. that's where things get interesting. "Oh, yeah my EX girlfriend. She just up and split. I have no idea what happened." Reh heh heeeeally! Apparently she said he was just 'too much' and packed her bags one day. Things are lookin up! I press him on the details and then he spills the juiciest gossip OF. ALL. TIME. (You ready for this?! Na na na..)
Hadley: "Yeah, she would actually always bring you up in our little bedroom fantasties."
(People want to BE me AND do me. Shocker! ..in more ways than one)
Me: "Wait, what? Fantasies as in sex and bedroom as in sex?"
Hadley: "Oh god,.. yeah. Sorry, that was too much information."
Me: "Oh no darling, not at all. Tell me more"
Hadley: "Haha I'll save the rest for later."
Any normal person would be creeped out (right?) and how typical that I'm beyond flattered and might be letting it go to my head. Definately, Actually. I guess it makes sense, their combined ages added up to like 90.. they got the 'hot young tart' fantasy going on. Enter me into the equation.. BLAMO!
On a side note, she actually turned out to be a lesbian. Surprise, surprise.
(My favorite old man of all time. Gary Oldman. MMM!)
xoxo
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