Sex and the Videostore

You know when shit happens in movies and you think 'only in a movie would this happen.' I've learned, especially in MY life, that the crazy shit that goes down in movies also tends to actually transpire in this little thing I like to call "Real Life."

I'm at work today (looking up shoes online, Clogs: Love em or leave em?) and this customer that I've always fantasized about comes in. He's older, has a solid name, is completely mysterious and possibly even wise. He looks like he just walked out of a J Crew catalog, which I'm totally digging for spring. I rarely ever speak to him because he's extremely intimidating and I'm a strong believer in enticing sans words (I hold firm to that) He never really makes too large an attempt to to strike up a conversation with me either, which is only further proof that my tactic is working. This morning, however, he asks "How you doin",.. omigod.

Of course I'm taken aback and jolted into a haze of disbelief but I manage to spit out "I feel like I'm on CRACK! Coffee! Is.. I has, so big! Hrrmm?" What a wide eyed wonder I've become. He starts laughing at my slurring, mumbling and the loud infliction I used when I said crack! because I'm super funny and really nice to look at. (Ok, we're off to a good start) "Well, I am soo hungover.." (Nice, he drinks. Something we can talk about over dinner) "..I was at my friends house up in the West Hills.." (Friends With Money, I'm liking this so far) "..I know a lot of big, famous, rockers.." (1. BARF 2. Art Alexakis hardly qualifies as a 'famous rocker' anymore) I'm finally able to get a word in so naturally I ask him if he got any poon. I believe my words were "Niiice, so.. you stick your P in any hot young V?" He shakes his head, and no not because he was sad it wasn't my V, but because!!!!!!....

"The funny thing about that is, yesterday was actually supposed to be my wedding day to a 'hot young V' but I called it off." JACKPOT!! I live for gossip. Characteristically I make him spill the beans on this lock, stock and barrel. The Bridezilla: Some 25 year old who wasted 5 years of her life teaching English to Asians. His Drink of Choice: Whiskey. How He Dropped the Bomb: She was cooking (unspecified) food and he walked in the room and said "I'm not going to marry you" and then she collapsed.

ZING! He started explaining that she was too young, he had always dated older women, and that he was 40(ish) and just now realizing he wasn't the marrying type. Additionally, he went on to explain to me that "as you get older it starts to become more about the brains than the body.." (common misconception) "It's about at the end of the day, coming home to someone that makes you laugh."

I succeeded in letting him know 3 things about me: A. I like older men "How disappointing, I only like older guys. I hope they don't all feel the same way." 2. (As of recently) I'm not the marrying type either "Marriage is for foolz anyway. It's like the whole kids thing, I never saw the point." 3. I'm single "I'm single."

For grins, earlier this morning while I was getting ready for work I was watching SATC (I've finally started rewatching the entire series. Getting ready for SATC2!) I was on episode two of the first season, Models and Mortals, it was about modelizers.. men who date the models.. the hot young women.. dating for the bodies and not the brains.. and toward the end Big tells Carrie "in the end it's about being with the person that makes you laugh." (Don't quote me on the exact words, but you get my point.) What a coincidence, I'm hilarious. I can only assume I'll be seeing more of this man that left his fiance at the alter (what a keeper huh?)


xoxo